If your auntie had balls...

I've inherited an interest in phrases of a similar theme, expressing skepticism about a claim dependent upon too many conditionals, from an old housemate. There a Wikipedia page about them.
I'm interested in more, please e-mail me if you have any.

If your auntie had balls, she'd be your uncle.
common English phrase
If wishes were thrushes beggars would eat birds.
As per Wikipedia.
If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
As per Wikipedia.
If wishes were horses, I'd be eating wish-meat every night.
Mo Sizlak's version (Simpsons S21E17)
If turnips were watches, I'd wear one by my side.
As per WIkipedia.
If turnips were bayonets, I'd wear one by my side.
As per Wikipedia.
If my cow was a cat I could milk her by the fire.
translated from Dutch
If your grandmother had four wheels, you'd be a bus.
translated from Spanish
With a few ifs, you could put Paris in a bottle.
French phrase.
If you had tits and no cock, you'd be a woman.
If "if's" and "and's" were pots and pans, There'd be no work for tinkers' hands.
From Wikipedia.
If ifs and ands were pots and pans, you'd have a very nice kitchen.
If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, wouldn't it be a Merry Christmas?
If thinking were a cupcake, I'd eat that shit.
From Ozark.
If a frog had wings, it would fly.
Most men are within a finger's breadth of being mad. - Diogenes the Cynic